Frustration

The last two months have not been good. Hubby's commission checks have been small. In a slow economy, businesses slash their budgets, and it seems one of the first things they stop buying is new computer hardware/software, and pretty much anything else husband's company sells. I am watching my "emergency fund" dwindle by a couple hundred dollars each month, just to get us through the month.

On top of that, August seems to be a very bad month for expenses. I swear, the kids need $20 for something for school every time I turn around. The oldest has a job, but because of her limited availability due to school and marching band and dance, she doesn't make a whole lot. She puts gas in her car and pays for her lunches, and that's basically it. Her car is paid for, btw. We paid cash for that.

This week, she needed makeup for color guard. This happens every year. They make the girls buy their own makeup for shows, and they have to have the exact color and brand specified by the instructors. This year, they happened to be Cover Girl products, so I was actually able to use some coupons, which knocked a few dollars off the price. It still ended up being $25.

Then, the band director in the middle school where my middle daughter plays drums sends an email that he's "concerned" that all the students don't have all the books they're supposed to have. All 8th grade students need 2 books, which my daughter has. But then there are two more books that all percussion students need. This is the first I've heard of this. So my daughter actually needs four books for 8th grade band? I've emailed the band director to clarify, but it's a holiday weekend, and I have yet to hear back from him. The cost of two more books? $20, of course.

Oh, also in this same email he said he will be sending home an order form for band shirts. The t-shirts are $5 and the polo shirts are $15, both required. When they have concerts, they have to wear the polo shirts. The cost? Why, another $20, of course.

Then, yesterday I noticed that the front two tires on my van are bald on the sides. Well, I already knew that, but yesterday I saw that the metal wiring was starting to stick out of the bald part. Yeah, that's bad. I started looking around online, and the cheapest tires for my van at Discount Tire were $91 each, and that doesn't include balancing or rotating or whatever else they do. So we're looking at $200+. Wal Mart wasn't much better, their cheapest option was $85 per tire.

Yesterday I drove hubby's car to work. I do this when we're not working at the same time, as his car gets much better gas mileage than my van. Again, trying to save a few bucks. So on my way to work, his car starts acting really weird. It's a manual transmission, and every time I got it into a new gear, the car was jerking and sputtering and just acting weird. I made it to work and called him, and he said he hadn't had any problems with it. He brought my van and came down to my work (therefore negating my efforts to save gas), and drove it around the parking lot and around the neighborhood around my office. He said it didn't do anything weird for him. My mind had immediately leaped to "new transmission", but I guess that's not the case. It was probably a clog in the fuel line or something, because it did sort of feel like it does when you're about to run out of gas, except the tank was half full. Anyway, his car appears to be fine, thank goodness.

As he was driving back home, he happened upon a used tire place that I drive by every single day I work, but I had never noticed. Long story short (too late, right?), he got two used tires for my van, Goodyears in really good shape, for $25 each plus balancing and whatever else they do. The grand total was $74, which was great because I thought it was going to be $200, but bad because there's another $74 I didn't really have.

Yeah, it's great if you budget money for car repairs. It's also great if you budget money for Christmas, car registration, clothes, and any other expenses that might happen to come up. It's great if your budget allows you to do that.

But here's the thing: What if you already clip coupons, shop sales, get your clothes at Savers or other thrift store, never go out to dinner, don't go to the movies, never even rent movies, and feel like you are cutting every corner you can...and you are still struggling? And we both work. That's where I'm at right now. And it feels hopeless.

For the last few months, my husband's parents have asked to borrow $100-$200 from us, because they have no groceries and no gas. They also have a deadbeat younger son (husband's brother) whom they have allowed to suck them dry, financially. We have loaned them the money, and have always gotten it back on their payday, which is fine. It scares me though. I'm scared of ending up like them in 25 years. I'm so afraid that's where we're going to be.

Hubby is interviewing for a new job within his company that would pay more. I'm crossing my fingers. I don't want to put any pressure on him, so I'm trying to just be encouraging. But I really hope he gets this job. Oh, and his car tags expired today, and we don't have the money to renew that, at least until Friday. Hopefully he doesn't get pulled over, but with our luck...well, you know.

I don't need sympathy or solutions or whatever, I just felt like bitching today. Four months until Christmas. Gah.